In the ever-evolving discourse surrounding substance addiction and recovery, stories of personal transformation can often captivate and inspire. A recent segment from Tucker Carlson’s YouTube channel brings us the remarkable journey of Chris Cella, a man who faced the harsh realities of falling out of the middle class and grappling with opioid addiction. While Cella’s narrative is both compelling and heart-wrenching, it also opens the door to critical examination regarding the accuracy and implications of his experiences. In this blog post, we will delve into the factual underpinnings of Cella’s story, exploring the societal contexts of opioid addiction, examining his claims about encounters with organized crime, and scrutinizing the dramatic elements of his recounting. Join us as we sift through the layers of this story to distinguish fact from fiction, shedding light on the truths behind addiction, recovery, and personal redemption.

Find a fact check of this transcript on CheckForFacts

Transcript:

[00:00:00,000]: You pepper sprayed a member of the Mexican mafia and stole his heroin

[00:00:03,519]: I sprayed him in the face with pepper spray and put something to his throat said don’t move

[00:00:08,359]: Making me tense man just telling me this story

[00:00:10,399]: And he had girls in his halfway houses that he was giving heroin giving crack and pimping them out and then sending them back to treatment where they would ultimately fail their drug test and have to go to detox

[00:00:23,799]: And guess who gets a kickback from the detox center

[00:00:26,840]: No way

[00:00:27,879]: It’s a revolving door of suffering and just pain for the addict

[00:00:31,879]: But they’re making money at every stop

[00:00:34,259]: This is disgusting

[00:00:35,720]: And then she pulls out a handgun

[00:00:38,380]: She’s like what are you doing in my house

[00:00:40,520]: My kids are in there

[00:00:41,479]: And I’m like oh my God you have kids

[00:00:43,500]: If you have your kids sleeping in there you’re kind of a shitty mom

[00:00:46,619]: So you insult the lady with the gun pointed at you

[00:00:49,060]: Because

[00:00:49,560]: Pick up balls I’ll say that

[00:01:11,599]: Thanks for doing this Chris

[00:01:13,900]: How long were you addicted to opioids

[00:01:16,139]: So I was addicted to opioids from the age of 15 to 23 kind of on and off in and out of rehab for those eight years but yeah

[00:01:24,559]: 15 to 23

[00:01:26,220]: How did where’d you grow up

[00:01:27,480]: So I grew up in a small town in the middle of the country

[00:01:27,860]: So I grew up in I was born in Dallas grew up in South Orange County moved there when I was five kind of bounced around but all in kind of relatively the same area

[00:01:36,660]: Southern California

[00:01:37,400]: Yeah yeah yeah Southern California Orange County

[00:01:41,580]: And my sister or my family addiction kind of just runs in my family

[00:01:46,519]: Like my

[00:01:47,360]: As it does many

[00:01:48,199]: Yeah right

[00:01:49,059]: I do believe it is

[00:01:50,379]: There’s a genetic component to kind of the addictive personality

[00:01:55,339]: Absolutely a hundred percent

[00:01:56,319]: You think

[00:01:58,220]: All right how much alcoholism is there in Israel

[00:02:02,220]: How much alcoholism is there in Sweden

[00:02:04,360]: You know it’s a big difference

[00:02:06,080]: Yeah exactly exactly

[00:02:08,160]: So you know my so growing up my dad was he was a general counsel at an oil company in Texas

[00:02:16,020]: So he was traveling a lot and he was also a heavy drinker

[00:02:20,460]: He would he’s not the type of person who like needed to wake up and you know drink in the morning to function but he would go on benders you know for days weeks at a time

[00:02:30,039]: And and then my my mom she was a long distance runner and she had a diving accident that left her basically she was a victim of big pharma’s push in the early to mid nineties for Oxycontin and then eventually fentanyl

[00:02:48,479]: And you know this little pathetic pill pushing quack is you know giving her just massive amounts of Oxycontin

[00:02:53,839]: And she didn’t like the way she she hated the way it felt

[00:02:57,339]: And she she’s like I don’t like this

[00:03:00,100]: You know it’s making me like comatose

[00:03:01,899]: And the doctor’s like well you need to keep taking it

[00:03:04,039]: And so she she decided to flush them down the toilet once

[00:03:07,660]: And and she went into excruciating withdrawal and you know I’ll touch more on withdrawal later but it’s yeah she so she Were your parents married

[00:03:16,860]: Yes yes yes

[00:03:17,979]: They were married

[00:03:18,300]: So your dad’s the general counsel of a big company your mom’s a distance runner

[00:03:22,020]: So these are like competent people who got their act together

[00:03:25,479]: These are not like this is not the junkie profile

[00:03:28,320]: Yeah yeah no yeah

[00:03:28,919]: Like my father he was he graduated college at 19 and he went to Columbia Law School

[00:03:37,039]: I mean you know so Oh wow

[00:03:38,940]: Okay I’m sorry because I think that I think it’s important to set this in a socioeconomic frame

[00:03:44,979]: Yeah because there’s yeah

[00:03:46,440]: Addiction does not you know it does not it doesn’t matter whether you’re rich poor black white whatever you know it’s indiscriminatory so

[00:03:54,979]: Yeah that’s true

[00:03:56,259]: So yeah my So this doctor keeps pushing opioids on your mom

[00:04:01,039]: Yes

[00:04:02,100]: And by the way to be a distance runner yeah I admire that but it suggests like true self discipline a high level of awareness of your body

[00:04:14,039]: I mean who’s a distance runner

[00:04:16,160]: You know only people who are very very into fitness and very very kind of like batting down people

[00:04:23,299]: Right

[00:04:23,820]: Correct

[00:04:24,119]: Yeah yeah no my mom was absolutely you know one of the most disciplined people that I’ve ever met

[00:04:31,859]: Well you kind of have to be yeah

[00:04:32,820]: Yeah yeah and I mean a lot of long distance running to me is absolutely sounds like torture

[00:04:37,119]: Well it’s torture it is torture

[00:04:38,279]: Yeah but it’s highly impressive

[00:04:39,679]: Yeah no it is absolutely

[00:04:41,200]: And so you know she had these multiple surgeries that only exacerbated the issue and A neck injury

[00:04:47,540]: Yeah a neck injury that she got from it wasn’t related to her long distance running but it was a diving incident

[00:04:54,079]: She hit her neck on the diving board

[00:04:57,940]: And so yeah this guy’s first he’s pushing OxyContin on her and then he says okay well let’s try something different

[00:05:04,540]: It might be less like you know less addictive possibly you know because fentanyl is brand new and you know might make you feel a little bit better to where you can function throughout the day

[00:05:15,299]: So he puts her on fentanyl and fentanyl is so powerful

[00:05:18,279]: I’m sorry to laugh

[00:05:19,540]: No no I mean it’s yeah you have to laugh otherwise you’ll cry because it’s like fentanyl is the most so powerful that it has to be administered in micrograms

[00:05:28,040]: Yeah

[00:05:28,339]: Like you know like the 25 micrograms whereas most drugs are administered in milligrams

[00:05:32,779]: So like that just shows you how potent fentanyl is

[00:05:35,399]: How many kids does your mom have

[00:05:37,600]: Three so So she’s got three kids she’s married to a general counsel of a company she lives in Southern California she’s a distance runner and all of a sudden she’s on fentanyl

[00:05:45,179]: Yeah

[00:05:46,059]: Oh no she well she was living in Dallas when she became addicted to the fentanyl or addicted to the oxy at least

[00:05:54,320]: Yeah

[00:05:54,760]: And then when we moved to Southern California when we moved to Southern California my dad started his own practice with his brother

[00:06:00,339]: They were both lawyers so

[00:06:04,420]: And then yeah so my sister and then my sister she had a serious issue with bulimia and anorexia from the age of 10 to 28

[00:06:16,140]: Like so serious that you know her potassium levels were so low that ambulances at our home were like a regular occurrence

[00:06:23,880]: And there was multiple times when they said you know your daughter might make it might not make it you know to my father

[00:06:29,799]: And so witnessing all of this at a very young age and again I’m not trying again I just want to like preface this is not an excuse for my actions

[00:06:37,279]: Like I own everything that I did all the terrible things that I did

[00:06:40,480]: But I think that the chaos that I you know basically I didn’t have the necessary things like structure and discipline that I think are so important for everyone but especially for people with addictive personalities to have that you know that rigid kind of I’m gonna wake up I’m gonna make my bed I’m gonna do this I’m gonna do that

[00:07:03,339]: And so like my parents I was never sure I knew my parents loved me

[00:07:06,980]: Like my parents they I was never you know short on that but they were so busy trying to deal with my sister and you know and their own issue

[00:07:16,480]: My father he’s been clean he’s been off he stopped drinking he just cold turkey stopped drinking for it’s been 25 years now yeah

[00:07:24,579]: Good man

[00:07:25,899]: Yeah and you know he never went to AA or anything like that

[00:07:28,880]: And so again it’s you know addiction or you know treatment can be as simple as you know going to therapy

[00:07:36,399]: It doesn’t have to include you know rehab and all these different things but

[00:07:41,739]: So yeah my sister She so she eventually switched over to suboxone from fentanyl and then she weaned herself off of that

[00:07:54,339]: So now she’s yeah totally and suboxone is a miracle drug

[00:07:57,799]: I mean compared to like the alternative which is methadone which is so so addictive

[00:08:03,459]: It gets into your bone marrow

[00:08:04,559]: I mean the withdrawals from that I’ve heard are much worse than you know your average opiate or even heroin just because it’s more drawn out

[00:08:17,839]: And yeah it’s terrible

[00:08:19,399]: What a nightmare

[00:08:22,100]: So she got better

[00:08:23,959]: Yes

[00:08:25,000]: And your dad got better but you grew up in an environment where there was a lot of this going on

[00:08:29,200]: Yeah and so yeah and lacking that structure it made me you know I think it led to a sense of low self esteem and the constant need for the approval of others

[00:08:42,640]: Like I look back now and I’m like you know why the fuck do I did I care so much about what other people thought

[00:08:49,119]: And it’s I guess you know I can’t you know but after years of therapy they’ve kind of pinpointed as to like you know your quote unquote inner child didn’t get enough emotional nourishment so to speak

[00:09:01,900]: And so yeah you know I was so constantly trying desperately to fit in

[00:09:07,239]: So you know when I got into middle school high school and you know I was you know a honor roll student very very you know I was very you know I have a high IQ I was blessed with that

[00:09:20,679]: But once I got into like college where you actually have to start kind of trying a little bit like algebra two and whatnot I was like you know because I’d started hanging out with kids who were smoking weed drinking and smoking cigarettes

[00:09:33,659]: So not that I necessarily wanted to smoke weed drink and smoke cigarettes but that’s what they were doing

[00:09:39,840]: So I wanted you know I wanted their approval

[00:09:42,340]: I wanted to fit in

[00:09:43,200]: I wanted to be a part of the cool crowd

[00:09:44,919]: And so I started drinking you know smoking cigarettes and smoking weed

[00:09:48,859]: And so that went on for you know I quit the wrestling team

[00:09:53,880]: I you know I pretty much abandoned everything that you know was positive you know all the positive things that I was doing for my life and just kind of became a stoner

[00:10:05,039]: And you know I know a lot of kids who were potheads in high school you know that I’m friends with that are more successful than I today

[00:10:11,840]: So I’m not you know trashing them at all

[00:10:13,539]: But I mean then what happened was it progressed to the cause I was in you know advanced placement classes

[00:10:22,119]: So I was in like algebra two as a sophomore where you know I was it was mostly juniors and seniors in the class

[00:10:27,780]: And so I started hanging out with the juniors and seniors and they were doing it’s called a oxymorphone or Opana they were you know snorting that taking Xanax pills stuff like that

[00:10:41,559]: And then my stoner buddies Where were they getting the pills

[00:10:45,219]: So they were getting them there was pretty much we had like one source and he was a guy that just lived in down the street in an apartment complex

[00:10:55,179]: It’s always a guy in an apartment complex isn’t it

[00:10:57,380]: Yeah for sure

[00:10:58,359]: I’ve been to those apartment complexes

[00:11:00,000]: And he his grandmother was getting prescription drugs getting these prescription drugs and just had like a boatload of them

[00:11:08,239]: So you know he would sell them for 60 bucks a pop and you know we would buy them

[00:11:16,299]: But eventually you know that it becomes too expensive

[00:11:19,460]: The pill habit becomes too expensive and that’s why so many people transition to heroin

[00:11:23,900]: But you know even my stoner friends were like hey you should like you should try to steer clear of those guys over there

[00:11:29,440]: And I’m like okay yeah I’m gonna take your heaping loads of moral condemnation stoner

[00:11:34,260]: But in reality it’s like when the potheads are telling you that to stay away from these kids you know they’re bad

[00:11:40,900]: No no that’s right

[00:11:41,979]: Like yeah

[00:11:43,400]: And so you know of course you know my again that low self esteem that desire to fit in started using pills and opiates in particular

[00:11:55,140]: They took away that feeling of that like that low self worth

[00:12:00,840]: I felt I was confident

[00:12:03,580]: I you know I felt great at the beginning in the beginning in the very early stages of my addiction

[00:12:08,520]: So like the first you know two three months

[00:12:10,799]: And I had a job I was a telemarketer at a golf club selling quote unquote custom made clubs

[00:12:18,299]: They’re literally made in a warehouse underneath the call center by illegals

[00:12:22,020]: And they’re it was either graphite or steel

[00:12:23,739]: And they might give you extra grips on the clubs

[00:12:26,739]: That’s the extent of the quote unquote customization

[00:12:29,780]: Yeah

[00:12:30,260]: But comparable to the tailor made R11 you know okay yeah right

[00:12:34,140]: So you’re selling custom faux custom made golf clubs from a call center

[00:12:39,820]: Yeah

[00:12:40,960]: And you know go in the car do a line of Opana and come back in and it’s just like oh my gosh you know I have more confidence and I’m pushing harder on the sales and things like and my sales numbers are going up

[00:12:54,320]: So I’m like why would I stop when this is like I feel great about myself I’m performing better at work

[00:13:02,840]: Yes

[00:13:03,299]: So you know I saw it as like there’s like there’s no downside until Totally fair question

[00:13:09,739]: And by the way there have been a lot of as you know artists jazz musicians you know who used opioids because they thought it increased their you know ability

[00:13:20,380]: It enhanced their performance

[00:13:22,260]: Yeah and I think you know to an extent it can but that is short lived

[00:13:27,239]: It is not you know it’s temporary because especially with opiates they again they what they do they literally they erode your soul and you’re eventually gonna run out of money and you’re gonna have to get desperate

[00:13:42,320]: And so So what happened in your case

[00:13:44,440]: You started by doing a line in your car during work

[00:13:47,580]: Yeah and it kind of just progressed

[00:13:51,559]: You know I was like doing like you know one pill one 40 milligram pill every couple of days to two every couple of days to you know and just kept going up and up and the cost was getting too expensive

[00:14:05,219]: Why did you use more

[00:14:07,859]: You developed a tolerance for it

[00:14:09,460]: Yeah yeah you quickly develop a tolerance and yeah and you just need more and more to get to that because you’re always chasing that first high

[00:14:18,820]: You’re never gonna get it again but that’s what like you know the chasing the dragon you’re always trying to get to that level but you’re never gonna get there

[00:14:27,380]: Right no I think it’s yeah

[00:14:29,960]: I mean I think every childhood weed smoker remembers that first time when you just like burst into laughter hysterically with your buddies and it’s like the funnest funniest thing that’s ever happened in your life

[00:14:40,799]: And it’s like it’s true it is fun

[00:14:42,099]: I mean that’s truly fun but that doesn’t ever happen again

[00:14:45,219]: Yeah no and you’re so desperate to try to get back there and that kind of you know the whole like you know addiction makes you insane

[00:14:54,039]: It’s like you know you’re never really gonna get back there but you’re still trying

[00:14:59,080]: And so Addiction makes you insane that is true

[00:15:02,219]: Yeah I mean you know like the definition of insanity trying things over and over again expecting the different result especially when you get into the point where you’re like you’re trying to get sober and like okay yeah this hasn’t worked 15 times

[00:15:14,940]: Maybe it’ll work the 16th

[00:15:16,780]: Why

[00:15:18,599]: And so but yeah so I was yeah so it progressed very quickly

[00:15:22,260]: So you’re in like 10th grade at this point

[00:15:24,119]: Yeah 10th grade yeah

[00:15:26,539]: And progressed within I don’t know maybe like two three months to buying heroin up in you know South Los Angeles and What was that like

[00:15:39,760]: Wild dude

[00:15:41,419]: So you know basically what happened was when we met this guy I think he was at like the continuation school down the street from our high school

[00:15:51,080]: And What’s continuation school

[00:15:53,020]: It’s like basically if you get like booted out of you know a regular high school it’s kind of like a way to get a diploma without having to get a GED but like it’s like kind of like a it’s like a bootleg diploma

[00:16:09,640]: Nice

[00:16:10,960]: So some of the kids who’ve had a bumpy road are in the continuation school

[00:16:14,000]: Yeah yeah for sure for sure

[00:16:16,200]: Yeah I mean they even like even though there was like mostly kids under the age of 18 they had a little smoking section at the school

[00:16:25,460]: I grew up with that

[00:16:28,159]: Yeah and I yeah I mean I’m still a nicotine fiend I vape but I quit smoking cigarettes

[00:16:33,919]: I was like you know I and I was honestly I was pretty impressed with myself that I was able to do that because that was almost I don’t want to say almost as hard but very difficult and you know trying to get rid of that addiction you know compared to my opiate addiction but you know just I quit drinking and drugs at 33 and I quit cigarette smoking at 45

[00:16:56,320]: So that tells you

[00:16:57,580]: Right on yeah yeah yeah

[00:16:59,299]: It’s yeah it’s hard

[00:17:00,320]: It’s really a hard addiction to break and I’m still addicted to nicotine you know

[00:17:04,319]: Yeah me too

[00:17:05,800]: But I’m enjoying it I will say Chris

[00:17:08,359]: Yeah me too

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[00:18:38,560]: Okay so 10th grade all of a sudden you go from like doing like bumps of some ground up oxy derivative pill at the golf sales place to driving to South Los Angeles

[00:18:53,780]: I’m sorry I stepped on your story

[00:18:55,040]: Yeah no no

[00:18:55,420]: You meet this kid from the continuation school and he’s your heroin connection

[00:18:58,939]: Yeah yeah

[00:18:59,479]: What’s he like

[00:19:02,579]: Just some just like slimy just dirt bag

[00:19:09,160]: I mean I don’t yeah

[00:19:10,780]: I mean just yeah just some guy that we were only the only reason we associated with him was because he had that connection

[00:19:18,939]: And yeah not exactly you know he’s the type of guy who would steal your wallet and help you look for it

[00:19:22,619]: But again that’s what most junkies are

[00:19:27,260]: Yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:19:28,420]: He was a big user and he was actually ripped

[00:19:30,739]: I found out he was ripping us off when I got a direct connection and he was basically saying it was double the price for the amount because you get like a you get a little package with 12 balloons in it and it was 45 and he was saying it was 90

[00:19:43,880]: So he was able to like get to pocket one and give one to us

[00:19:49,020]: So did you have to go with him to South LA

[00:19:51,439]: Yeah we would drive him

[00:19:52,719]: He didn’t have a car

[00:19:53,420]: So you know I would drive him in my 1998 Jeep and we’d all just pile in there

[00:20:00,420]: And this the feds were watching like these like they literally there was an article in the OC register

[00:20:08,400]: I think it came out while I was in rehab but basically just kind of giving an overview of the whole thing

[00:20:16,119]: The number you’d call the guy’s name was Boss

[00:20:18,599]: You call his phone number and this guy goes all right what do you want

[00:20:22,780]: And you tell him how many packs you want

[00:20:25,239]: And then he’s like all right meet

[00:20:26,540]: And it would be like one of three freeway exits you know right in that area

[00:20:30,839]: And like always like a fast food parking lot something like that you know

[00:20:34,800]: What town

[00:20:36,420]: It was Southgate

[00:20:37,500]: Boy that’s just depressing that area

[00:20:39,699]: So so yeah

[00:20:41,780]: So you’re meeting in like In N Out Burger or Wendy’s or something

[00:20:45,239]: Yeah yeah yeah just yeah

[00:20:46,699]: Some yeah we can just pull in real quick

[00:20:49,069]: And then they’d you’d meet the they would always send a runner and usually it was a different person but I started you know so yeah they’d meet you

[00:21:00,079]: They’d say all right you know come into the car

[00:21:02,199]: You’d get into the passenger seat

[00:21:03,959]: They reach into the air vent pull it out give you the dope give them the money boom

[00:21:10,180]: And You have to get into their car

[00:21:11,819]: Yeah

[00:21:13,079]: What were the guys like who were selling it

[00:21:14,959]: You know this is the kind of one of the crazier things about this whole experience

[00:21:21,060]: So the runner that I had the most contact with he was you know he’s a cool guy just this little Hispanic guy you know

[00:21:29,199]: I mean obviously a gangbanger who would you know shoot you as soon as they look at you but he was very you know very nice to me

[00:21:36,959]: And you know he would give me discounts occasionally

[00:21:39,280]: And he actually finally he was like hey you know what

[00:21:41,560]: You no longer have to call boss

[00:21:43,020]: You can just here I’ll give you my personal line and you can just call me and then you know have to save you the hassle of going through the whole process

[00:21:51,479]: I was like all right cool man thanks

[00:21:53,640]: And so you know we developed a kind of you know friendship I guess and probably the wildest story that I have

[00:22:02,380]: So we so my friends from South Orange County again very affluent you know

[00:22:06,660]: I don’t know if you’ve heard of like Nellie Gale in South Orange County

[00:22:09,780]: It’s like one of the ritziest neighborhoods in the country

[00:22:15,280]: It’s got like horse trails running through it you know and you know the houses are like at a minimum you know 5 million

[00:22:22,300]: So yeah it’s a very nice area very affluent area

[00:22:25,459]: And that’s where pretty much all my friends lived

[00:22:27,699]: And but this girl we knew her uncle was he owned the house

[00:22:34,280]: Have you seen the show Entourage

[00:22:35,380]: Have you heard of it

[00:22:36,079]: Yeah so he owned the house that at least like two seasons of the show were filmed in

[00:22:41,739]: And she’s like yeah we can go up there for the weekend

[00:22:43,859]: I was like oh awesome

[00:22:45,319]: And so it’s funny we drive all the way to Beverly Hills like two and a half hour drive and up this private road to this you know this beautiful mansion

[00:22:52,780]: The door’s locked and she kind of lied or you know misled us about having permission to go to the house

[00:23:00,199]: And so I’m like are you fucking kidding

[00:23:01,959]: And anyways excuse me

[00:23:04,020]: So I ended up finding a I saw like a door sized window like on the side of the house

[00:23:10,979]: And so I maneuvered my way up there pushed on the door and it just popped open

[00:23:15,040]: And I was like waiting for an alarm to go off

[00:23:17,599]: Like okay so I walk in open the front door and we’re in

[00:23:23,000]: And then I was like oh man I really need some heroin

[00:23:26,359]: I don’t want to drive down to Southgate you know

[00:23:29,199]: And so I called the guy and I was like hey man we’ve got a huge mansion

[00:23:34,619]: You know there’s only like seven of us

[00:23:37,099]: This is why you don’t let your niece bust into your house with her junkie buddy

[00:23:41,780]: Just wait

[00:23:43,439]: And I was like yeah you know if you want to if you can you know I know you don’t typically do deliveries but if you could bring me an order you know you’re welcome to stay and bring whomever you want

[00:23:54,199]: So he brings like two big Mexican dudes and like 10 big booty Latina beautiful chicks

[00:24:01,540]: Like yeah

[00:24:03,880]: And a candy dish with all these different pills Valium Xanax you know oxys just all that

[00:24:13,020]: And at least an eight ball of Coke a giant bag of Coke

[00:24:16,420]: And that was those were just party favors

[00:24:18,060]: And he brought me my order obviously

[00:24:21,180]: But and so we spent the night partying you know hanging out in the indoor pool you know doing lines off of you know girl’s stomachs

[00:24:31,380]: And it was a wild crazy time

[00:24:34,119]: I mean it was like literally like the show Entourage but like junkie version just going on inside

[00:24:40,900]: Yeah

[00:24:41,760]: Did the uncle ever come back

[00:24:44,300]: Well so the next morning and thank God

[00:24:47,760]: Were you in high school at this point

[00:24:48,839]: Yeah I was I was 16 I think

[00:24:54,040]: It’s so like cause I was I was going back and trying to like remember things

[00:24:57,520]: And it’s like some of it is so blurry that it’s hard to like wait wait when how old was I

[00:25:02,560]: And I have to like Yes I grew up in that area so I know what you’re talking about

[00:25:08,640]: And so yeah the next morning myself and a few other people leave

[00:25:15,180]: Did you sleep at all or just play through

[00:25:16,800]: No no I didn’t sleep for a second

[00:25:21,280]: And yeah I left the next morning with a few of my buddies and the game bangers departed

[00:25:27,579]: And the big booty Latina girls too

[00:25:29,439]: Yes they left as well

[00:25:32,280]: And so you know I go back to

[00:25:35,086]: Orange County and the next day a police officer comes to our house and it’s like a female investigator and she’s like asking me questions like were you at this house and blah blah blah and I was like I was there on she’s like were you there like Saturday I was like no I was there Friday that’s like I was there Friday I was told we were allowed to be there because I thought it was breaking entering that’s what I assumed and so I was like I was told we were supposed to be there allowed to be there and you know so and she’s like well you’re not aware that that that portion of the house was burned down and I’m like no what are you talking about and so she proceeds to tell me a story apparently some of the other people that the girl invited out for the next night one person got really high fell asleep with like a frozen pizza in the oven or something like that started a fire and instead of like trying to put out they just left and so there’s like literally smoke billowing from this and it’s like on a hill like to it so like you can see it from like like a very far away it is called Beverly Hills yeah exactly and so like they’re driving down the hill as the fire you know the ambulance and the cops are coming up the hill and the cop flips you and he’s like cuz it’s a private road only leads to that house and so they’re like are you leaving that house so I’d know it’s no of course not we weren’t there you know lying lying lying and then the cops are like come on so you know that and the I think one of them ended up getting charged with like the scene of a crime or something like that but nothing serious I came out of it but yeah it was wild and like when she told me that I was like how did they know you were there because the house owner basically gave her a list of everyone who was there like the girl who took us out there basically gave the investor was her uncle’s house yeah yeah yeah he owned it so as you’re doing lines off the navels of big booty Latinas with your gangbanger heroin dealer buddy in some girl’s uncle’s house where entourage was filmed what are your parents thinking at this point of like what you’re doing well my parents you know God bless them they’re so naive and like in my and my dad you know had this consistent belief that you know our kids will do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do not because of the consequence that come from it and you know as you know as noble as that is it’s just it doesn’t work you know you you have to have consequences otherwise you will run rampant and think you can do whatever you want yeah and that’s how it is it’s not I don’t judge him I grew up around I mean they sound like Southern Californians and their attitude that way yeah yeah and you know yeah my dad was just you know very you had a very strong moral conviction that you know he believed just was passed on to us and so so my parents were again you know had no idea what was going on until kind of another story basically long story short I had a friend who was put into a coma we were at a party and this guy this guy came out really angry and just punched my friend in the face he fell but hit his head put into a coma and he wakes up three weeks later and my mom is there I wasn’t there my mom was there and she and he says Patti you need to get Chris away from and she named out she named you know some of the kids that I was associating with and she said why you know because you know they’re at my house there they’re that was the first thing he said when he came out of a coma yes yes God exists yeah yeah God bless them really it was and then of course you know at the time I was like that you know snitch you know that kind of mentality it’s like why are you trying to rain on my parade you know I’m just having a good time and but yeah you know I mean my friends tried several like you know my my my quote unquote stoner friends tried several interventions and I was just like you know extremely defensive and like who are you people to tell me anything you know and you know but again they had my best interest at heart and of course and and you know many of those people I’m still in contact with today and I’m so grateful that they you know took the time and the effort to try to save me from myself incredible are you still in are you still in high school at this point are you going to class are you yeah going to class you know leaving early stuff like that you know ditching you know like fifth period fourth period and to go hang out and you know how often are you doing heroin at this point every day every day yeah what time of day like what’s the schedule so so wake up so I wasn’t shooting it up yet I was I was smoking it at first and how did you smoke it so it’s so in California heroin is mostly black tar heroin yeah and so basically from Asia correct sure okay um but uh yeah it’s like this like a little black yeah like square and so you put it on a piece of tinfoil you put a lighter underneath it and you get a straw and it makes like it goes it’ll like trail down the tinfoil and you’re and the smoke’s coming up and you suck it through the straw with the lighter and yeah that was the what’s the high like from it I mean just total euphoria again you feel like you’re on you’re on top of the world you can it doesn’t matter if you’re literally your life is falling down around you you don’t care it’s like you’re fine everything is fine everything is great Wow yeah again the insanity how long does it last um I’m just smoking it and again it all depends on like your tolerance level and things like that things like that but let’s say like you know probably three four hours five hours so while you’re in high school when are you smoking heroin so I would do it for school you know at home in your bedroom yeah yeah and your parents had no idea in my shot in my shower yeah and yeah no they didn’t yeah they didn’t they so when my friend got out of the coma they you know started to kind of try to keep a closer eye on me but I was still you know I was incredibly deceptive and very manipulative of course very manipulative and deceptive with my parents making them think that oh these kids are great no they’re they’re actually the good kids and God when I think about like the that I put my parents through it it’s just where are you getting the money to buy all this heroin uh so I was I had I still had that job at the golf or selling golf clubs and and then I you know I would occasionally take money from my parents whatever I needed to do and then things I’m you know not proud of that but yeah that’s the nature of the disease is you will do anything to get them get that next fix yes and so from smoking it quickly deteriorated to to shooting up because you know I’d say within like a month of smoking it I started shooting up because you know my couple my buddy started doing it and they’re like oh my gosh dude you only have to use like one fifth of the amount and you get like a high that’s like ten times better I’m like oh great save money and yeah I remember the first time like first time my buddy and I did it we looked it up how to inject you know great Google search how to inject heroin your body you Google searched it yeah it’s like they have like images of like you’re supposed to go like diagonally like with the like go straight down really like because you want to you want to go into the vein yes and then and then you basically draw back the syringe and once you see blood because you know that it’s in the vein then you inject it but if you miss it’s really painful you basically what happens is like you don’t and you don’t get that immediate euphoric rush that you that comes with shooting up that’s that doesn’t come with smoke like smoking it yes you get euphoria but shooting up it’s like it’s that it’s instantaneous and it’s it hits so much harder it’s like crack versus cocaine yes yeah and yeah it was just a very yeah so how long between you you know the moment you first crushed a pill and snorted it and the moment you first heroin like how long was did that progression take I would say less than a year probably about like nine months damn that’s a pretty progressive yeah progressive illness yeah so what was it like the first time you shot heroin where’d you do it it was at my buddy’s buddy’s house and in Laguna Hills in that neighborhood that I mentioned Nellie Gill the five million dollar house number yeah exactly and so yeah we were in his room and I did it and yeah again it’s that just this overwhelming sense of euphoria and yeah everything is wonderful even if you know you’re with even if your life sucks and and again I understand why a lot of you know like homeless people do drugs it’s like because their life is literally just in shambles and you know so I mean yeah they’re so broken there’s no way to fix it this is their thinking so like this is the escape yeah so what’s the point yeah exactly why not just live in like it you know almost like a metaverse you know yes exactly nicely put thank you um so yeah so I went to like probably I would say not exaggerating over ten rehab centers in California wait so how did you get okay so you start shooting heroin how did you get busted how did you wind up going to rehab oh yeah so I I was uh so I was shooting up on a daily basis and I actually started going to a continuation school because I was just I stopped going to class my grades were too low and you know I basically got kicked out of school and so I was at a continuation school you wind up in yeah yeah the the place I’m the place I would ridicule and mock like and then I’m now I’m one of them was your junkie friend still there the guy who first no no cuz he was he was like much older yeah or like yeah he was uh yeah he was a senior when I like I was a sophomore and he and he barely attended like I saw him a few times on campus but he barely went to school even when he was at continuation school so yeah and yeah we really didn’t associate with that guy other than just to go buy drugs but um because he was not an exactly you know a fun person to be around and so I doing drugs doing hair or doing it shooting up heroin before school and for some reason that day I decided to take my take all my drugs with me I had a little like ziplock packet with my syringe my you know my what I used to tie off you know you know all my equipment where’d you get the syringes by the way so there are certain pharmacies that will you know if you say you know my my grandmother’s a diabetic or whatever that and I think nowadays they just give them to you in a lot of places especially like Northern California anything they can do to encourage a drug addicted population therefore yeah 100 it’s disgusting Gavin Newsom makes me sick the money like you know he talks about this multifaceted plan to attack the opioid epidemic it’s like yeah you’ve spent billions of dollars and it’s only gotten worse I encourage people to be addicts yes absolutely and so I got so I decided for some dumb reason to bring my drugs to school with me that day and and I also did something that I would never normally do it’s I I told some random person that I’d never met that I was high on heroin like in class like someone I’d sat next to the first time seemed like a cool person cool guy like yeah yeah and he’s like oh really and like didn’t seem like he was gonna tell on me and and so I’m in I remember like two periods later I’m in class and some administrator comes into the room and says I’m Chris Chella can you come to the office and and I saw a cop behind her and I was like oh and so I go down to the office and she’s like yeah we heard a rumor that you were doing drugs and I’m like who said that she’s like well I can’t tell you and I was like well it’s not true you know I deny deny deny deny but they’re like she’s like okay well you know we’re gonna search you and I was like I don’t think you guys have the I don’t think you guys have the legal right to search me and she’s like if we have probable cause and like you know the basically I I allowed it I wasn’t sure if it was legal or not but I was hoping that and and so they searched me in pants you know belts all that stuff and she was about to turn away and then she says wait let me check your socks literally like the last thing she did and fuck and so of course got caught got arrested see you had the kid in your socks yeah yeah it’s just like high socks with it just like right here and so I get you know arrested or detained and my you know the cop releases me into my mom’s custody and my mom drives me home she says you’re you’re going to rehab like you know I don’t want to hear anything about it you’re going to rehab and I was like okay and your mom is like someone who knows opioids like how bad it is yes yes and and that’s why she would you know at times you know when I was like I was in terrible withdrawal and I was like mom I I’m dying like I need to like please just give me like you know and you know she would occasionally give me a little bit of money just to because she felt she knew she knew and God bless her you know she just I put so I you know I rained down so much terror and chaos upon my parents they just they were just trying everything they could think of and you know some things they did really well some things obviously you know again being a parent is hard yeah especially a parent of a wild psychotic triading yeah and and and dealing with you know obviously you know my sister’s as well you know just goodness but as soon as my mom turned her back I stole the 80 she hadn’t cash out of her wallet and drove to LA and obviously oh so the gangbanger that I left this out the gangbanger that I was partying with I really regret doing this because you know I consider him a friend but I was desperate at the time and so I was like all right I’m gonna rob him and you’re the gangbanger yes yeah and so I doesn’t seem like a good decision no no again but you know so desperate and in agony and like what else can I do so I got this like 225 225 pound Scottish kid and this big kid from the football team and I’m like yeah we’re just gonna rob this little skinny Mexican guy it’s like no problem and they’re like all right cool and what as as we were getting up there wait wait wait like super dumb people that yes one of one of them one of them became a meth head he mocked me for being a heroin addict and like you know shunned me but then he became like a hardcore meth head and but when I like you but you just go to them cold hey we’re gonna rob some Mexican kid yeah and I I failed to mention that he was you know a gangbanger and you know had associations with the Mexican mafia and and so I kind of let I accidentally let that slip on the ride up there and they’re like uh we don’t want to do this anymore no yeah and and and so like we get there and I’m like fucking pussies and so I just sorry cursing um so I just get into the car myself and commit it commit the robbery how do you rob him so I sprayed him in the face with pepper spray and put something to his throat said don’t move and just reached into the because I knew where he kept it and just reached and grabbed it and and then jumped out my friend was in the driver’s seat and I was like go and he’s driving like a maniac I’m like dude calm down slow down like this is a very narrow streets in that area it’s like that and so we’re driving and you’re making me tense man just telling me this story and and where were you what town was this this was in like Southgate like the same same area that you know I was going to pick up the stuff before and you pepper sprayed a member of the you got balls I’ll say that um again have you apologized to him by the way years later I haven’t had the opportunity I haven’t been back to Southgate no yeah I apologize sorry yeah no I I do regret it but uh so yeah so my friends driving down the street and we I see him driving down the like perpendicular street behind us and I’m like how the fuck is he driving I just like unloaded a bunch of pepper spray in his face and armed to what he’s armed yeah probably yeah and so we’re like my so I’m like all right just keep driving and he for some reason he like just does like a wild turn onto a very narrow residential street crashes into an oncoming oh come on yeah and I’m just do you get a church yes I’ve I’ve I’ve yes I’ve gone to confession so many times and and and spirituality thank you too for being here for being alive yeah no exact I should have died so many times I think like yeah I mean the amount of not just you know the stupid things that I was doing outside of my use but I mean the like if I was an addict in the age of fentanyl where like fentanyl is laced and I would probably would have died just because I stopped in 2016 when that was like when it started to really get like when when they started to put heroin into fentanyl or fentanyl into heroin and other drugs because when Trump got elected and the Chinese decided to just like kill a huge part yeah yeah flood our country with poison basically right and yeah I remember that I’m sorry I’m stepping on your story no no no you’re fine so and by the way can I speak one other editorial comment as a product of Southern California it’s really a decadent society I’m just being I’m like for real decadent like I don’t understand and I grew up there you know in there in the early 80s was when I was Yuri you know the age you described and it was so decadent that I I almost never think about it but um but you were a product of that society I mean I’m just telling you yeah yeah absolutely here’s a fact of life you may not learn until you’re older but I’m gonna tell you now it’s very hard to have a good time if you’re wearing bad boots in fact it may be impossible and that’s why you need to Covis as a matter of fact you don’t just need them you owe them to yourself to Covis makes Western boots for everybody ranchers real ranchers lifelong Cowboys first time boot buyers and anyone in between every to Covis boot is handcrafted made by hand with over 200 meticulous steps for a broken in feel right out of the box you don’t have to compromise between looks and quality you can have them both whether it’s a long day or a big night to Covis are built to last and impressed you wouldn’t believe the compliments people here get when they wear them out which they do right now get 10 off at to Covis comm slash Tucker when you sign up for email and text alerts that’s 10 off at Cova t e c o v a s dot com slash Tucker um anyway okay so your face your friend you see the guy for the Mexican Mafia he somehow recovered from getting shot in the face with pepper spray yeah of course he has a gun in the vehicle and he’s looking to kill you and you see him perpendicular your friend swerves down a narrow road and head on yeah with some you know driver by and so I jump out of the car stash my drugs have you used the heroin yet no no so you’re still like jumpy withdrawal guy at this point yeah yeah and but I like I stashed it and this one and like there was like because there was a bunch of people like they immediately started like and my two friends take off by the way they just start running down the street I’m like why running down the street yeah yeah and in South in South and this is not an Anglo neighborhood so like they stick out yeah yeah yeah like sore thumbs like a big yeah I mean well one of them was Hispanic so maybe not so much but but the Scottish guy yeah like and so we so so I jump out of the car I stashed my drugs sit down on the curb and wait for the police you know there’s there’s so many people there are so many witnesses and but again no one knew that what had just transpired all this all again like it was just a car accident as far as they were concerned and as far as the police were concerned and so yeah my friends run and the cops the cops come they show up they’re like you know hey what are you doing out here I was like we were trying to find a friend’s house we got turned around and he’s like well do you need to go to the hospital and I’m like no no I’m good I’m good I’m fine and he’s like okay well do you have a ride I was like yeah I’m gonna call somebody to pick me up and he’s like okay and so you know I wait for them to depart and go back into the little bush of course grab my drugs can’t forget that and and then I got ended up getting a ride from a buddy another user and I was like hey I’ll give you some pick me up because I was I was very concerned that they were going to like yeah I was like I need to get out of Southgate fast yeah like right away yeah and so I asked I was like dude just please come come pick me up I will make it worth your while and so I get picked up you had to wait on the sidewalk well I I was I was actually this this nice lady she was like her house was like right next to where the accident took place and so I was like you mind if I just like post up on your foot on your front step like I was like I’m I just want to wait for my ride and you know it’s kind of kind of scared I’m in a dangerous neighborhood you know played like the little you know and she’s like yeah yeah yeah you know and so I just sit there and wait and and you know I have like the drugs in my fist ready to like toss them in a moment’s notice if I need to or whatever and and then I get picked up and that’s that but what transpired after because thankfully they only knew me by CJ like his Chris jr

[00:50:55,926]: my initials that’s what I went by my nickname from like kindergarten through yeah through high school and then they and they knew I lived in South Orange County and but they didn’t know anything else and so they would so they they switched up the way they did their like the way they did the process of selling the dope where they would now you had to so you had to meet up then follow them down like this empty street or an alley or something like that then stand up against a chain link fence and get searched and then you could get into the car and get your stuff and they would ask every single person do you know CJ do you know CJ from South Orange County do you know where he lives oh and yeah so for a very long while and you know I was like so grateful when I saw that OC register article the fact that they had and I saw that his picture in the you know his mugshot in the article the wild and his name listed but yeah I mean crazy stuff let me just pause to ask you the the guys who you are with on that caper where you assaulted the member of the Mexican mafia did they turn out okay well one of them became a meth head yes yeah and it’s ironic because when they got like when they got caught they got caught at like a seven or a Starbucks cops picked him up and they immediately just spilled out they told them home the whole story for no reason and I know for a fact because my father represented him in the hit and run and the it took the DA like until almost the end of the trial to figure out that I was also associate and like he’s like wait your son was involved in this and my dad was like trying so hard to thread the needle you know to not get me not expose me to any potential criminality and also you know defend my friend and yeah it was one became a drug addict and the other one I kind of lost lost contact with have no how many of the guys that you partied with in high school are sober now how many are dead do you do you keep track from high school most yeah I one friend passed away opiate user good guy but you know he wasn’t like a particularly heinous junkie I mean he just was a junkie but he was a good I like you know good hearted and but he passed away of an OD yeah overdose and you know I had I met a few friends in rehab one whom I was very close to lived in New York and you know we stayed in contact met in Florida stayed in contact and for you know like four years and then you know I got a call from his mom that saying that he had ODed you know relapsed and and you know it was just heartbreaking but uh yeah most but no most of my friends like the like the stoners from high school yeah are very successful individuals college graduates you know working in finance working in different you know sectors and having a great life what about the opioid users the opioid users kind of like they have the advantage of like many of them that I hang out with or hung out with excuse me we’re already you know their family was just uber wealthy like one of them one of their fathers was the CEO of a company called Ameriquest it was worth like you know 80 million dollars so they they had a you know a lot of money to fall back on so like they tried opening up like a clothing line different thing but ultimately label what music label no not yet that’s kind of the classic one yeah no there were other kids you know in our in in Orange County that did do that that started that tried to start a start a rap group and I’m just like of course yeah I could write this Orange County is so weird but anyway so yeah so I’ve yeah but most of my friends from high school are very successful and I mean my like the one the stoners are yeah yeah but unfortunately yeah I’ve lost multiple friends you know people that I actually genuinely cared about not just you know acquaintance and acquaintances yes you know I too many acquaintances to count but you know real friends it’s been like yeah like five do you have any idea what happened to the I was in rehab so the guy the guy boss right he had different runners like you know multiple guys who would run to cars and one time I had this guy and so I was in rehab and it was like a it was in it was in San Diego and Chula Vista great place to put a rehab but it was like a rehab was in Chula Vista yeah and yeah setting yourself up to fail but uh they had like it was a mansion and then kind of like a bungalow they had little like bungalows like type things and so it could house about like 30 40 people and so they had me there and this guy comes in and I’m like he looks familiar and I didn’t like I didn’t I couldn’t put my finger on where I’d seen him before and he goes he goes hey man he said he said I used to he said I used to run for boss and I it’s like I don’t I think I delivered to you once and I’m like oh my god and he’s like and he’s like he’s like he’s like your friends with hobby right and robbed the guy that I robbed and I was like yeah yeah great friends and I was like I heard he was locked up though he’s like yeah no he’s out now and I was like oh okay and he’s like I’ll tell him you said hi when because that you got a seven day blackout and you can’t use the phone when you first go in a lot of treatment centers have that rule this place did and so he’s like yeah I’ll tell you said what up when I when I talked to him I’m like oh my god he’s this guy’s gonna knife me in my sleep you know and I was seriously I I was concerned I was gonna tell like my therapist and see you know what could potentially be done because I was genuinely because you could easily in that place sneak out of your bedroom go and go into someone else’s bedroom yeah if you wanted to it’s not like it’s locked down you know they have you know quote unquote people that are watching at night but the place is so big it’s you know you could do it if you want and of course there are no locks on the doors no no of course not because yeah yeah exactly people were buying air duster and like you know like anything to get a buzz and I was just like wow that was kind of eye opening for me but not eye opening enough to stop but it’s like wow this year so how many times did you get a rehab total between California and Florida probably somewhere between 15 and 20 15 and 20 yeah I got cuz I got kicked out of a bunch of places for stupid for reasons that were not related to drugs necessarily fratner’s eight fraternization what does that mean hook up with girls that were grabbing the girls yeah yeah I mean not again consensually Harvey Weinstein sense yeah yeah exactly and I mean I was like 17 18 years old and and you and you heroin effect your sex drive yes it makes it lowers it a lot and then when you come off of it horny 24 7 like yeah yeah cuz it’s like cocaine is like that yeah and and it’s it’s interesting because like my one of my therapists described withdrawal as your body basically being in shock because you’ve been numbing all your senses for so long yeah and then when you stop your body is like everything is just like taking in light yeah chewing food everything hurt like my eyes hurt my teeth hurt every muscle and bone in my body ached like it it is if you could find a way to like inject that into it like find a way to like inject that feeling into it like a friend interrogation purposes let that guy sweat it out for a day he’ll tell you what all the bombs are I assure you you know it is like truly I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy really yeah it is so bad did you have to detox I guess every single time 15 or 20 times you went to rehab pretty much there were a few times when I was like kind of just on and off using and so it was like the withdrawal was like yeah I kind of felt it but there were yeah probably about 10 times when I went through hardcore withdrawal and yeah every single time I was like I never want to feel this feeling again you know and but I wasn’t I still wasn’t committing to myself that I wanted to stop I was just like how long does it last the withdrawal agony I mean it’s they say like up to like seven days typically but I mean in reality I mean my withdrawal my last withdrawal lasted about like three it was like three weeks before I remember I remember like the day I was like laying in bed and I was like wow I actually feel comfortable like my body doesn’t ache like I can I’m like I feel I feel kind of normal three weeks yeah I mean it and it’s like the first week is just like absolute hell you’re sweating bullets you’re cold like the sweat on your body makes you cold and it’s just it’s it’s terrible and again all of the other things I described and that just slowly and then and then the the discomfort it’s like the epitome of discomfort gastrointestinal to some people some people got like diarrhea things like that I did I didn’t some people got like would vomit and stuff but that never really happened to me it’s I guess it’s just you know it depends on the person but yeah it’s just just overwhelming like sense of just yeah shock I guess is the best way to put it and yeah again just terrible interesting so rehab I mean you’re making a pretty strong case it doesn’t work very well I mean God knows what that cost by the way you know someone paid for it I don’t know if it’s your family or some insurance program the state taxpayers whatever but someone’s yeah yeah so the first rehab I ever went to was it was called the Phoenix house and it was in it was in like northern Orange County and it was a state run facility and like you it was like a kind of like a boot camp style you had to like fold your bed with the military you know corner crease and everything like that all your shirts had to be lined up your you know your toiletries had to be perfectly in a row all that stuff and you know I did that and I was like it I was like I hate this this sucks and all I want to do is get out and you know I’m just like I just can’t wait till this 30 days is over so I can leave and and I was like I was like I don’t think I want to I was like I at that time I was like I don’t think I want to do heroin but I definitely want to like I still want to be able to smoke marijuana I still want to be able to drink and like and I mean to this day I still you know smoke marijuana and drink recreationally occasionally but yeah I made the decision that I or you know I just wasn’t ready to quit yet and I think what what it’s really you can go to as many different treatment centers doctors AA meetings it has to be I think an intrinsic motivation to better yourself and you have to want that like you have to want it you can’t do it for somebody else if you’re doing it for your child if you’re doing it for your wife if you’re doing it for your parents you’re gonna fail hey it’s Tucker Carlson not to be a moralizer but some things and you know this as well as we do some things are just wrong they may not be illegal but you’d never do them for reasons of self respect if no other and teabagging sorry to say it teabagging is one of those you shouldn’t be doing that and you know you shouldn’t be doing that and yet the big nicotine pouch companies encourage you to teabag they call them nicotine pouches but they’re basically teabags they’re dry desiccated tasteless they’re disgusting and they’re degrading to you don’t put one in your mouth now you have an option it’s called ALP it’s not dry like a teabag you’re not teabagging when you use it and you should be proud of that you’ve got self respect now you can show that self respect with our no teabagging t shirt it’s wrong but you’re better than that okay so let me just ask you I’ve heard and known I’ve heard the story and I’ve known many people who’ve lived this story where they’re addicted to something whether it’s pills or heroin and cocaine alcohol mostly and they just go to rehab after rehab after rehab relapse after relapse after relapse destroying their sense of themselves and the you know they feel like losers you know when you keep failing at something it’s not good for you you know you feel more yeah exactly so why do we have like what’s the point of this like why do we have these centers clearly don’t work I mean do they I don’t know it doesn’t sound like they do yeah I mean again it’s it’s I think that like it’s it all depends on the person but again you it has to you have to want it that’s the bottom line is like you have to want it and like these treatment centers they can’t they do some good but they should not be like you should not say you know rehab is a cure or AA is a cure because like yeah if you’re good if you go into those places you can sometimes develop the intrinsic motivation through therapy or through discussion with other people or whatever but I mean for me it was so fast forward a little bit so you know I get basically kicked out of every rehab in California’s my parents are like alright let’s send you to Florida let’s try a new environment and South Florida was like the rehab capital Ray yeah yeah yeah Delray Boynton Beach and it was just I mean I was shocked that like some of the places where the halfway houses were are the sober homes were located like down the street from like the known markets where people like we’re you know look no one’s more for sobriety than I am I’m a sober person totally opposed to drugs and alcohol period but let’s just stop lying about it this is a these places are a scam not all of them yeah but a lot of them are just a money making scam profiting off the misery and death of addicts yeah they see you as an insurance policy with a heartbeat exactly that’s pretty much it you know and true villains I think yeah yeah no no this most the most sinister man probably in if you want to just pick one out is his name is he was I that was the first treatment center I went to in Florida so owned a treatment center and he owned several halfway houses but they were all everything was in his wife’s name that’s one thing that was like a red flag to me and so and this guy shows up to the to the rehab center in like a three piece you know Armani suit with like a Gucci belt and like you know like dressed like a pimp you know I mean and and ironically he is a pimp he was so he had girls in his halfway houses that he was giving heroin giving crack and pimping them out and then sending them back to treatment where they would ultimately fail their drug test and have to go to detox and guess who gets a kickback from the detox center no way yeah and it’s the South Florida rehab shuffle there are many cases of it if you you know you just that you’ll see you know a bunch of different stories but and as I would say is like the kingpin of just absolute scumbag like you said villain a villain a true evil that is so yeah it’s it’s it’s incomprehensible to me as a human slave trader yeah yeah essentially treating people as objects as animals yeah and so does he still in this business I never know he was sentenced to 27 years in prison Wow yeah so the feds the feds started to crack down on the Florida rehab shuffle although I read somewhere that it’s supposedly coming back that the you know because it’s basically and you know it wasn’t the he was probably one of the worst offenders but a lot of these guys were you know they they would just like you know get these cheap homes fill them with as many addicts as they could sometimes they would charge rent like 75 bucks a week or something like that plus the money they’re getting from you know kickbacks from the whichever treatment center they send them to so they’re housed they send them and then and then if they go to detox you know the kickback it’s it’s a revolving door of chaos and a revolving door of suffering and just pain for the addict and and but they’re making money at every stop this is disgusting it is the addicts in the rehab center understand that they are pawns in a profit making scheme I think a lot of people were starting to wake up to it and I and I knew one of the girls who was one of his victims and she would she was always like man I just want to get the hell out of here and she had this like look in her like I could see that there was something and I thought she was just very like you know maybe had some some issues with her family or whatever just a very depressed sad person even for an addict even for an addict like I could tell that there was something like she was in absolute like misery and terror she was afraid of I think they were afraid many people were afraid of him and what he would do if they spoke out and it was just it was heartbreaking for me to see that you know even as someone who’s you know obviously committed crimes and things like that I can’t even imagine having the the will to carry out such a monstrous act it’s it’s it tells you a lot so I mean that many rehabs you met a lot of people what did you learn about addicts addicts are some of the most resourceful intelligent people on the planet like you drop an addict in the middle of the the desert and they’re gonna find the nearest tribe with an opium pipe you know within 30 minutes and so if you get there single minded aren’t they well yeah but if you get them to if you can you know separate them from the drug and separate them from the addiction and turn that into something that’s good like you know an addiction to work or addiction to helping others you know that you can get addicted to like I mean for me the reason I got sober I think there’s several factors that played into it obviously God you know and and the intrinsic motivation you know that I talked about and and having a fantastic support system that was there for me they were just waiting for me to come to them you know just like hey we’re here just my family and and one of the one half way house owner who was kind of participating in the scam but he cared like he cared he genuinely cared about the people who were coming to his house he did not allow any drug use or anything like that there was I was at one place that was selling this this guy was selling crack to his clients at the in general so we would get knocks on our doors at three o clock in the morning from total fucking spun out crackheads yeah no man and there was no door on the bathroom that it was hundred you know it’s the middle of the summer in South Florida it’s like 110 degrees out no air conditioning just fans littering the you know littered across the living room and down the hallways and stuff I mean just an absolute shitshow and people are smoking crack in the halfway house yeah his rule was you know a fine line no needles yeah you can smoke cracks you can smoke whatever you want just no needles like all right yeah did you smoke crack in the half halfway house yeah a couple times yeah what do you think of crack uh I’d say it is it’s very destructive obviously but in terms of like a high it’s like here it’s like 30 minutes of like I can count you know kind of that I can conquer the world you want to start doing all these like different tasks that you’ve been putting off like because you feel confident about them now but then it wears off and then you’re just like so depressed and you think about every bad thing you’ve ever it’s like yeah like I don’t know if you’ve ever had like cocaine withdrawal like or you know just coming off of cocaine after like a night of bender you like my dad would tell me that when he would do coke like he was just like you think about like yeah in third grade when I pushed that kid you know again into the stairwell or whatever just like every you know and just like you just feel like a piece of garbage and you’re depressed yes and you pay for every happy moment yes yes and and and the crack it lasts it’s like the it the high is so fleeting to like with heroin at least you get like a few good hours of you know a solid buzz but with crack it’s like you know it goes away relatively fast did you how many people in rehab or halfway houses did you mean who were determined to get how every person I think without exception I know who’s been addicted to drugs or alcohol who got better has a sense that there’s what’s he saying a great you know a greater power that there’s God yeah absolutely and that you know human beings have souls and each one is unique and important and life is important and life is better than death then you know it’s sort of like the basic yeah of monotheism so right like how big a role did God play in any of rehab centers well well when I was so I was living in the the halfway house I was selling the guy was selling crack to to us and I just smoked some marijuana for the first time in a long time and it made me like very introspective you know we can do that say what kind of like psychedelics to to and and I was like you know it’s and I heard a voice in my head that I can only assume it’s just you know a spiritual awakening God saying like what are you doing what are you doing why are you here surrounded by these people like looking around I’m just like I have so much more to offer the world than what I’m you know I mean I’m just a derelict and I don’t have to be I have people who love me I have people who would you know would die for me you know my family is you know you know are so loyal and they love me so much they just want me to stop being a piece of piece of garbage and and I just that day I was like I’m done with this stuff it’s not fun anymore like and and I and I wanted to better myself that was so you know I think that was God instilling the motivation so yeah I mean yeah I got sober at a crack it’s kind of funny you know tried 50 different rehab centers but ended up you know getting sober to crack house but I think that that’s yeah it was smoking weed in the halfway house yeah he didn’t care about yeah yeah you could smoke anything you wanted in there pretty much and yeah I was just like that day I knew I was never gonna touch an opiate again and I know people say like you have to wake up and make a decision every day that you’re not gonna use but it’s like I don’t even it doesn’t even like register in my mind like like to say it like oh I’m not going to use heroin today because like you know what I mean

[01:16:12,257]: You know what I’m saying

[01:16:12,977]: I do know what you’re saying actually

[01:16:14,077]: Yeah it’s like because it’s like I look back and I’m like that’s I’m a different person

[01:16:18,457]: I’m truly a different person

[01:16:19,877]: I have like evolved

[01:16:21,057]: It’s like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly or you know whatever analogy you want to use

[01:16:27,537]: But just and looking back and thinking how could I have possibly done all this

[01:16:32,457]: And yeah I mean Christ plays a huge role and I think it’s really important

[01:16:40,137]: And even for people who are excuse me you know maybe atheistic or whatever but just believing in something greater than yourself that can that you know you can strive to be better and strive to you know just whatever set goals for yourself and achieve them

[01:17:00,657]: And by doing that you are you know I think that’s how people can find a way out of addiction

[01:17:09,697]: And then you grasp onto something find things that you really enjoy

[01:17:13,297]: So like what I was like okay what do I enjoy

[01:17:15,537]: I like I love movies

[01:17:17,077]: I’m a huge movie fanatic and I like I’m really interested in politics and journalism

[01:17:21,497]: And ironically what I mean I was always you know my like Fox News was on my parents television 24 7

[01:17:29,177]: You know so I grew up conservative

[01:17:30,657]: My grandmother was a door knocker for Reagan and for someone else

[01:17:40,237]: I can’t think

[01:17:41,477]: No

[01:17:42,117]: Ford Nixon Goldwater

[01:17:43,477]: The first conservative to run

[01:17:44,777]: He didn’t win

[01:17:45,937]: Goldwater

[01:17:46,537]: Oh yeah Goldwater yeah

[01:17:48,377]: Yeah Goldwater yeah

[01:17:49,177]: And so yeah politics kind of is in my DNA I would say

[01:17:56,617]: And I remember watching Fox in the lead up to the presidential election

[01:18:00,697]: It was like the perfect time to be get interested in politics right

[01:18:04,597]: You’ve got Trump and Hillary Clinton

[01:18:07,737]: And then I remember seeing you and I was like and I’m not just saying this because I’m on your podcast

[01:18:13,977]: This is genuinely the truth

[01:18:16,357]: I saw you on you know your show and I was like I like I love the way this guy does the news

[01:18:22,957]: It’s different

[01:18:23,917]: It’s unique

[01:18:24,597]: It’s funny

[01:18:25,337]: It’s like I want to do something like that

[01:18:27,197]: I want it

[01:18:27,737]: That’s what I want to do

[01:18:28,637]: You’re like here’s a Southern Californian who had addiction problems and he turned out okay

[01:18:33,637]: And you’re like hey

[01:18:35,837]: Yeah yeah yeah

[01:18:37,097]: I didn’t know all that about you

[01:18:39,637]: No I was just like I was just like wow this guy is like so much different than the other voices on Fox

[01:18:44,737]: You know I mean not to you know I mean you know you just bring such a unique perspective

[01:18:52,117]: You’re willing to you know go against you know you quote unquote the party and call out the you know the rhinos the neocons all that stuff

[01:18:59,777]: And I was just like he’s he’s awesome

[01:19:01,777]: Like this is great

[01:19:03,637]: And so let me ask you like a philosophical question

[01:19:07,817]: So in between jobs once I got fired from another job I was an unpaid fellow at a libertarian think tank in D C And I thought it was a libertarian sort of am libertarian in a lot of ways

[01:19:19,717]: Still you know I really don’t want to bother other people

[01:19:23,237]: But I I left after a drug policy conference that I went to that really kind of changed my thinking on the world

[01:19:29,177]: And at it they explained the libertarian position on drug policy which is kind of America’s position on drug policy which is it’s the drug addicts fault

[01:19:37,457]: Like people get addicted to drugs

[01:19:38,837]: That’s their problem

[01:19:39,777]: That’s their fault

[01:19:41,157]: And it’s kind of the demand explanation for the drug epidemic

[01:19:45,097]: It’s like we have a lot of drugs because people want a lot of drugs in this country

[01:19:48,017]: It’s not Mexico or China’s fault or the drug dealers

[01:19:50,817]: Yeah no the the the yeah the desire for it

[01:19:53,977]: Like yeah

[01:19:54,537]: And that’s what Mexico says

[01:19:56,117]: It’s like if you people didn’t want it so badly maybe you know it’s it’s yeah it’s very true

[01:20:00,857]: And I thought you know that makes sense

[01:20:01,677]: I mean it’s kind of like one of those lines you hear

[01:20:03,617]: They’re like yeah that sounds right

[01:20:05,037]: And then you think of your own life

[01:20:07,457]: And then you think of the people you know who got you know tragically fucked up or killed by drugs

[01:20:13,217]: And I of course I know a lot of them

[01:20:15,377]: And you think no actually like some of them are like your mom super healthy person

[01:20:21,257]: Obviously a distance runner the healthiest person like in America you know are distance runners

[01:20:27,237]: And she has an injury and some doctor gives her a drug and she becomes an addict

[01:20:31,097]: Yeah

[01:20:31,317]: And my and my dad literally one time he went into the office and he grabbed the guy by his like threw him up against the wall

[01:20:37,057]: He’s like you’re poisoning my fucking wife

[01:20:39,097]: Good for your dad

[01:20:40,017]: Yeah

[01:20:40,037]: And and

[01:20:41,377]: I should say your parents such a beautiful you told me off camera are still married which is so beautiful

[01:20:45,977]: Married married for four married for 40 plus years

[01:20:49,137]: And

[01:20:50,157]: That’s incredible

[01:20:50,757]: And yeah they yeah they’re in love

[01:20:53,837]: I mean they’re a true genuine love story

[01:20:57,017]: That’s the best part of this whole story

[01:20:58,817]: And the reason just really quickly the reason my dad fell in love with my mom like at first sight was because he said she was the only woman in New York he saw that was wearing a crucifix

[01:21:07,237]: Like he that he’d seen in New York

[01:21:08,737]: So he’s like he’s like yeah she’s the one

[01:21:11,757]: They sound like great people

[01:21:13,797]: Oh you would love you would love my dad

[01:21:14,997]: Oh I can tell

[01:21:15,537]: I can tell

[01:21:16,417]: I’d like to throw a few doctors against the wall myself

[01:21:19,137]: But okay

[01:21:19,877]: So then there’s that

[01:21:21,057]: And then there’s your story which is like insecure high school kid

[01:21:24,997]: Like how many high school kids are not insecure

[01:21:28,037]: Like the feelings that you described like oh I don’t quite fit in

[01:21:31,037]: I don’t know if I’m cool or not

[01:21:32,337]: Every single kid has that feeling at 15

[01:21:34,657]: So you’re not unique in that way

[01:21:36,397]: And someone’s like hey try this

[01:21:39,057]: And then you become like a crazed you know needle dependent heroin addict and your pepper spraying members the Mexican mafia and almost getting killed

[01:21:47,257]: So like within a year

[01:21:49,837]: So that suggests to me that what we have is a supply problem not a demand problem

[01:21:54,197]: Like you’re in you know you probably would have been happy with Bud Light or Coors Light or whatever

[01:21:58,717]: Yeah

[01:21:59,577]: And instead you wind up on heroin because you had access to this drug

[01:22:05,117]: So if you take a hundred people and give them heroin every day for a month like what percentage become junkies

[01:22:11,077]: Like well all of them

[01:22:12,177]: Yeah

[01:22:12,437]: Yeah

[01:22:12,837]: So for sure it was I was just thinking this at this drug policy conference

[01:22:16,357]: And I was like actually you’re all liars probably getting paid by Purdue Pharma to lie

[01:22:22,077]: And it’s the Cato Institute

[01:22:23,517]: And they’re definitely liars

[01:22:25,017]: I can say that now

[01:22:26,497]: But I didn’t understand it because this is the one topic I knew something about having lived it

[01:22:32,957]: But like what is the answer to this problem that kills over a hundred thousand people

[01:22:39,217]: Yeah

[01:22:39,397]: Like from like from like a government perspective

[01:22:41,437]: It seems like we’re paying addicts to use drugs

[01:22:44,877]: That’s kind of my perspective

[01:22:46,557]: I mean I mean I think that one thing we should not be doing is what California is doing and trying to do set up like little basically port a potties for addicts to go in and you know use

[01:22:58,237]: And you know like little centers with clean needles and all that stuff

[01:23:03,057]: Why would you encourage people to shoot heroin

[01:23:04,797]: Yeah exactly

[01:23:05,497]: You don’t coddle and enable drug addicts

[01:23:10,337]: That is the worst thing you can do because they’re just going to continue using

[01:23:16,077]: And heroin is not a drug that you can use like and like it’s not like you know because there is a lot of functional alcoholics and functional you know people who you know are on like you know Valium or whatever you know you can kind of pill poppers that you know you would never know

[01:23:34,597]: But yeah heroin I just I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t it doesn’t become a lifestyle

[01:23:39,517]: It’s not it’s not like a side thing you know or hobby or whatever

[01:23:43,777]: It is your life

[01:23:45,557]: It is all consuming

[01:23:47,377]: What destroys you as a human being

[01:23:49,537]: Yeah

[01:23:49,797]: And same with meth

[01:23:51,017]: Oh yeah

[01:23:51,897]: Yeah

[01:23:52,337]: It meth the in like inside and out to heroin doesn’t quite like do the damage to your like your outwardly complexion

[01:24:00,617]: Yeah outwardly

[01:24:01,377]: But like inwardly it’s it I think it’s worse

[01:24:03,397]: But but meth is yeah absolutely terrible

[01:24:06,117]: Were you around a lot of meth people

[01:24:07,637]: Oh yeah

[01:24:08,437]: And so in Northern California because we moved to Northern California after when I was when I was 18

[01:24:17,477]: I remember my dad came down to San Diego because I was in rehab in San Diego and he picked me up and we drove north

[01:24:25,577]: To where

[01:24:25,817]: To the Bay Area to the East Bay

[01:24:29,077]: We lived in Concord

[01:24:30,217]: Yeah yeah

[01:24:32,177]: And because my grandmother lived in Lafayette

[01:24:35,257]: Yep

[01:24:35,417]: I know it

[01:24:36,077]: And she was

[01:24:38,157]: Those were nice towns

[01:24:39,017]: I don’t know if they still are but they were

[01:24:40,577]: Well Concord has been kind of been taken over by there’s a lot of gang activity

[01:24:44,837]: Oh God

[01:24:45,417]: Yeah

[01:24:45,777]: And like like and it borders Clayton too

[01:24:48,037]: So they’re like I think they’re probably going to do something about it because Clayton’s like a really nice area

[01:24:51,717]: So they’re probably going to start cracking down more because you know the rich people are being affected

[01:24:55,657]: So now it’s a problem you know

[01:24:58,237]: Yeah

[01:24:59,737]: And so yeah

[01:25:00,917]: So we moved up there

[01:25:02,357]: And again I started associating with the worst of the worst you know gangbanging meth heads

[01:25:09,217]: And I’d never tried meth before

[01:25:11,617]: And I remember I was just at this guy’s house and he pulls out a pipe

[01:25:16,177]: Like all right

[01:25:17,197]: Yeah

[01:25:17,517]: Try it

[01:25:18,137]: See what the fuss is about

[01:25:21,417]: And I like I

[01:25:23,077]: So you’re an open minded young man

[01:25:26,377]: Yeah

[01:25:28,477]: So you know I didn’t necessarily love it

[01:25:31,677]: It wasn’t this like oh yeah I need this

[01:25:33,637]: But my but but like my became my best friend was it was a dealer

[01:25:38,817]: So he always had it

[01:25:40,557]: So it’s like I would always just yeah take it like a puff or two

[01:25:45,077]: There was one point where I stayed up for 12 days straight and then slept for eight hours and stayed up for another sort of total of 17 days

[01:25:53,337]: So yeah another five days

[01:25:56,957]: And because doing heroin and meth it’s like like meth when you’re like basically like you know you’re up for a day or two you start to get weird seeing shadow people and shit like that

[01:26:09,377]: Then you do heroin and it’s like it’s like resets you almost

[01:26:13,017]: It’s kind of like it’s like you it’s like almost like you slept a little bit and your brain’s like back to normal

[01:26:19,517]: And it’s not going into crazy mode

[01:26:20,777]: I have seen meth heads like I remember this one story

[01:26:25,937]: So I was we were at this girl’s house in her garage

[01:26:30,557]: And it was myself our dealer and this chick

[01:26:35,657]: And she had you know just all over her face scratching it from scratching

[01:26:40,477]: She she looked like it’s terrifying terrifying

[01:26:44,057]: I’ve been kicked out of my house

[01:26:45,637]: So we were just chilling there

[01:26:47,057]: You know we’re just going you know from place to place trying to you know find a spot to you know kick it and rest or whatever

[01:26:53,457]: And so we’re smoking in there for like three four hours

[01:26:57,117]: And her and my friend go into the bathroom or inside or how inside her house

[01:27:03,477]: And I just kind of like sit back and I end up like falling asleep

[01:27:07,297]: And I didn’t realize I was like I woke up and I was like I had no idea how long I’ve been asleep like 30 seconds 30 minutes whatever

[01:27:14,217]: And there was no one in the garage

[01:27:15,357]: So I like knock on the garage and not garage door kind of peek my head in

[01:27:21,277]: I’m like hey what are you guys doing

[01:27:24,077]: And she comes out

[01:27:25,417]: She’s like close the door

[01:27:26,757]: I’m like OK

[01:27:27,537]: And then she comes out

[01:27:28,917]: She’s like what

[01:27:29,717]: What are you doing in my in my house

[01:27:32,157]: My kids are in there

[01:27:33,097]: And I’m like oh my God you have kids

[01:27:37,157]: And she’s like yeah

[01:27:38,277]: What did you steal

[01:27:39,237]: What did you steal

[01:27:39,897]: And I’m like I didn’t steal anything

[01:27:41,337]: And then she pulls out a handgun

[01:27:42,777]: Yeah

[01:27:44,197]: And like it’s this switch that flips for some people

[01:27:47,377]: It’s never happened to me

[01:27:49,617]: But this flip that switches and you they just become in a totally different irrational dangerous human being

[01:27:57,917]: And so so this woman has a gun pointed at me and she’s like I want she’s like empty your pockets blah blah blah

[01:28:04,177]: And I I went like this and pulled out like you know I was like look I didn’t steal anything from you

[01:28:09,017]: What would I steal

[01:28:10,117]: I poked my head into your place for two seconds

[01:28:12,297]: And I’m like by the way if you have your kids sleeping in there you’re kind of a shitty mom you know because I’m like

[01:28:18,557]: So you insult the lady with the gun pointed at you

[01:28:20,777]: Because because I was thinking

[01:28:22,117]: Another if I can just ask you to pause Chris another unwise decision

[01:28:25,297]: Yes yes

[01:28:26,097]: But I was thinking I was like this woman isn’t going to pull the trigger

[01:28:29,577]: It was a neighborhood that the houses were like right next to each other

[01:28:32,477]: The police station was like down the street

[01:28:35,337]: You’re betting that the meth head is rational

[01:28:37,997]: I don’t know what I was thinking

[01:28:39,037]: I was just angry

[01:28:40,157]: And I was high too

[01:28:41,557]: So you know I’m not exactly in the best you know decision making frame of mind

[01:28:46,737]: But anyways so she’s like she’s like take your fucking clothes off

[01:28:51,017]: I want to make sure you didn’t steal anything

[01:28:52,337]: I’m like fuck you

[01:28:54,057]: Sorry

[01:28:54,757]: Yeah no no no

[01:28:55,397]: Please

[01:28:56,097]: Fuck you

[01:28:56,837]: You’re out of your fucking mind

[01:28:58,977]: I was like I didn’t steal a fucking thing from you

[01:29:01,257]: You like I was like you’re not going to shoot me

[01:29:03,757]: So how about you just let us fucking leave

[01:29:05,257]: And so and I’m like and I’m and I’m looking at my friend and I’m like dude and he’s just standing there like this guy was a piece of work

[01:29:17,537]: So that night

[01:29:18,897]: So so she’s like all right get the fuck out of here

[01:29:20,957]: And she opens her garage up for us and we leave

[01:29:23,737]: And my friend calls an Uber and the Uber like the her phone died in the middle of the ride

[01:29:31,977]: And so like the trip got canceled

[01:29:34,117]: And so the woman who was driving us was like get out get out of my car right now

[01:29:39,677]: And we were like still like a couple of miles from our destination his sister’s house

[01:29:46,797]: And he and I was like shit

[01:29:49,137]: And he’s like oh don’t worry

[01:29:50,257]: I have a spot we can go to

[01:29:51,537]: And I’m like OK

[01:29:52,377]: And so we walk up the street and there’s this house

[01:29:57,177]: And he’s like yeah

[01:30:00,377]: I forget who he said owned it but he’s like yeah it’s cool if we crash here

[01:30:04,877]: And he tries to open the front door

[01:30:06,177]: It’s not locked

[01:30:06,657]: He’s like all right let me go around the back

[01:30:08,197]: And he’s like rummaging around

[01:30:10,317]: He’s rummaging around in the backyard

[01:30:11,537]: And I’m standing in the front just sitting on the steps because I didn’t think there was anything sketchy

[01:30:17,077]: And this car drives by and it kind of slows down

[01:30:20,537]: And then it keeps going

[01:30:24,737]: And I’m like huh that was weird

[01:30:26,457]: And then it loops back and then stops

[01:30:30,397]: And I was like oh shit

[01:30:31,517]: So I had a backpack with me

[01:30:33,417]: I grabbed my backpack hopped the fence into the backyard

[01:30:36,177]: And I was like hey dude someone’s here

[01:30:38,497]: And he takes off

[01:30:42,577]: And I’m running and I it’s like it’s four

[01:30:45,997]: It’s like four in the morning in Northern California in the winter

[01:30:49,397]: And I’m running and it’s pitch black and I fall into a pool

[01:30:55,317]: This is like one of the worst nights of my life

[01:30:57,697]: And I was and I was in low key opiate withdrawal too on top of all of that

[01:31:02,377]: On top of the meth and the crazy girl pointing the gun at you

[01:31:04,977]: Yeah

[01:31:05,097]: Yeah

[01:31:05,437]: And that’s why I was so irritable

[01:31:06,697]: And probably if I yeah if I had been you know if I was on heroin it probably would have gone down a lot differently

[01:31:12,217]: But I probably wouldn’t have been as aggressive

[01:31:14,237]: But I was so you know ticked off

[01:31:16,697]: And so I fall in the pool

[01:31:22,257]: I see flashlights like coming towards us

[01:31:25,137]: And this guy has already booked it like over a fence

[01:31:30,317]: And he’s gone

[01:31:31,857]: Like he is gone

[01:31:34,697]: And so I like I get out of the pool and I try to climb the fence

[01:31:39,977]: And I still have my backpack on

[01:31:41,337]: And you know I was like soaking wet

[01:31:42,837]: And I couldn’t climb

[01:31:43,957]: It was too heavy

[01:31:44,357]: So I just shed the backpack and just hop the fence

[01:31:47,617]: And I’m running down this hill

[01:31:50,557]: And I run face first into a chain link fence

[01:31:56,377]: It’s like a dream sequence

[01:31:59,677]: And my face is like you know so now my face is bleeding

[01:32:03,217]: And my hands are bleeding from climbing the fence

[01:32:05,757]: And I don’t have any shoes on

[01:32:09,037]: And so I am just so cold and so miserable

[01:32:14,097]: And so there was like a hill

[01:32:17,497]: And then there was a grocery store kind of a little strip mall type place

[01:32:21,157]: And so I go down there

[01:32:22,817]: And I look for the sketchiest person possible

[01:32:27,557]: Like you know just

[01:32:29,337]: You can tell

[01:32:29,877]: Yeah yeah they’re using my radar

[01:32:32,257]: And I was like hey man can I use your phone to call a taxi

[01:32:35,217]: Because I knew if I asked any normal person they saw me with blood on my face and no shoes on

[01:32:39,817]: They’d be like get the fuck away from me sir please

[01:32:44,357]: But no they were really nice

[01:32:49,517]: They let me use their phone

[01:32:51,197]: And I called a taxi jumped into the taxi

[01:32:53,517]: I was like please turn the heat up as high as you can

[01:32:56,597]: And I went home

[01:33:00,517]: And at first my parents weren’t going to let me in

[01:33:03,197]: And I was like listen I’m probably going to get hypothermia if you don’t let me in please

[01:33:07,497]: I was like I will do whatever you want

[01:33:08,937]: I will go anywhere

[01:33:09,897]: I just please

[01:33:11,157]: And I remember like going into their room and just like wrapping myself up in a giant blanket

[01:33:16,837]: And I was like I’d never felt so relieved in my life

[01:33:21,577]: Did you ever figure out who was chasing you

[01:33:25,357]: I think it was someone who like because the house it turns out the house was for rent

[01:33:31,697]: And it was it was there was no one in it

[01:33:35,697]: And so I didn’t know of course I didn’t know that

[01:33:38,997]: But he said yeah this is a spot that we can go to

[01:33:40,857]: I just assumed it was another Dope Fiend’s another Dope Fiend’s place

[01:33:48,237]: And yeah all that

[01:33:50,177]: And you know one thing that really breaks my heart is like it’s really the yeah one of the most I’d say difficult things that I had to accept that I did was because my dad would from time to time figure out where I was

[01:34:06,697]: And go to these you know these crack houses and places like that and beg me to come home

[01:34:13,777]: And I remember one time specifically he said please please Chris please come home

[01:34:20,297]: Like your family loves you

[01:34:21,977]: Please

[01:34:23,077]: In tears

[01:34:23,877]: And my dad doesn’t cry

[01:34:28,597]: And I was just like no

[01:34:31,697]: And he’s like okay well at least take and he gave me his crucifix and St

[01:34:37,717]: Christopher medal

[01:34:39,137]: I still have I broke the chain but I still have them to this day

[01:34:46,157]: And gosh even then it tore me up you know because I just wasn’t ready to stop

[01:34:53,077]: And I didn’t know like you know I didn’t want to cause this pain that you know and suffering that my parents were feeling

[01:34:59,377]: And so I drowned it out with this more use and you know to try to

[01:35:06,337]: You can see how that happens

[01:35:07,957]: Yeah

[01:35:08,277]: So when you quit 2016 how long did it take to get back your equilibrium for your brain to start functioning as it had before you started using opioids

[01:35:23,097]: Honestly I don’t know that it will it has ever gotten back to where it was before

[01:35:28,437]: But I think that it took about I would say like nine months to a year to like get like to get the fog out and like you know have like because like my memory was shot

[01:35:42,297]: Just everything was like depleted

[01:35:45,097]: And so in order to get you know to get those receptors and everything firing again to get my brain back to where it needed to be yeah I just it was hard

[01:35:56,777]: What are the long term longer term effects

[01:35:59,577]: I would say I’d say memory loss is definitely a thing

[01:36:03,757]: Equilibrium like I have a very bad equilibrium

[01:36:06,517]: Like people think I’m drunk sometimes because I’ll like stumble

[01:36:09,217]: But it’s just like no I’m just yeah my equilibrium’s off

[01:36:13,517]: And I mean obviously you know long term like things like anxiety you know you know it’s ironic because a lot of people use heroin to treat their anxiety

[01:36:24,857]: But it causes you know again it’s the rebound effect

[01:36:30,237]: And so yeah anxiety depression just yeah a myriad of bad things

[01:36:38,197]: Have you known you know people addicted to opioids and have heard that it affects your ability to feel happiness once you’re off it

[01:36:46,597]: Yeah I would say that yeah I didn’t I always and I you know and even to this day like have this kind of sense sometimes of like imposter syndrome

[01:36:56,557]: Like I like you know for example like getting a job in Congress working for Matt Gaetz and having Matt Gaetz compliment me and tell me and say all these nice things about me

[01:37:07,277]: It’s like I don’t feel like I deserve this praise you know

[01:37:12,917]: I mean sure I’m a like I’m a decent person

[01:37:15,577]: But yeah it’s like it took me a while to just understand that like yeah I am worthy of these

[01:37:23,257]: I have achieved a lot

[01:37:25,077]: I have been you know sure I’ve done a lot of bad things but I’ve done everything I can to try to you know repair the damage that I caused

[01:37:32,937]: Yes

[01:37:33,017]: And so like so no I deserve you know it’s just it’s hard to force yourself to you know accept like yeah you’re like you’re doing well

[01:37:43,057]: Like just be yes you were you were as bad as it could get but you’ve turned it around

[01:37:49,677]: And like you know I was I was kind of nervous about this interview but then I was like and I was talking to my dad and he’s like Chris you stopped using heroin

[01:37:57,657]: You can do an interview

[01:37:59,997]: You know

[01:38:01,217]: That’s true

[01:38:01,877]: Yeah and I mean you know it was and again like I go back to the intrinsic motivation

[01:38:09,877]: It’s just so important to want to level up in life

[01:38:13,417]: And I think that like you know I kind of compare it to like the whole body positivity movement

[01:38:17,277]: It’s like yeah you’re 40 pounds and I’m not talking about people with like medical issues but like you’re 40 pounds overweight

[01:38:23,517]: No you’re perfect just the way you are

[01:38:24,957]: It’s like no put the donut down go to the gym

[01:38:26,997]: Like you know stop stop coddling people who are you know who have a food addiction

[01:38:32,977]: Encouraging people to destroy themselves

[01:38:34,297]: Yeah

[01:38:34,577]: That’s the way I think about it

[01:38:35,657]: Right

[01:38:36,517]: Only only people who are filled with hate would do that

[01:38:41,157]: I don’t care what they dress it up as

[01:38:42,777]: If you’re encouraging someone to hurt himself you hate that person

[01:38:46,477]: Right

[01:38:47,097]: Yeah

[01:38:47,477]: I mean it seems so

[01:38:49,917]: Well obviously

[01:38:50,597]: Yeah

[01:38:51,057]: If you did that to your kids here get type 2 diabetes here become a junkie you would be a terrible parent but you’d be acting of hate for your kids obviously

[01:39:00,457]: Sinister

[01:39:01,337]: It is sinister

[01:39:03,777]: And you know that’s why you know like you know you see all these like Victoria’s Secret plus size you know it’s like and again you shouldn’t you shouldn’t do you shouldn’t want to better yourself you know for societal acceptance but for your own sense of you know happiness and well being and purpose

[01:39:18,857]: Because you talk to any person who’s overweight you know and like again without medical conditions like obviously they’re going to say yes I would prefer to be prefer to lose a few pounds

[01:39:28,397]: I mean I would assume I’ve never talked to every obese I haven’t talked to every obese person on the planet but the ones that I have talked to yeah I would like

[01:39:36,897]: Well they’re tormented by it of course

[01:39:38,517]: They’re tormented by it

[01:39:39,437]: You don’t feel good

[01:39:40,257]: And and and and and yeah and like Victoria’s Secret and these other places trying to tell them oh yeah you’re perfectly fine

[01:39:47,557]: Keep doing what you’re doing

[01:39:48,517]: Don’t change anything

[01:39:50,057]: No it’s it’s evil

[01:39:51,357]: Obviously let’s just call it what it is

[01:39:53,037]: All these things are there

[01:39:54,617]: Big Pharma

[01:39:55,237]: Yeah I think embedding the destruction of human beings

[01:39:57,597]: And that’s that’s the worst thing you can do in this life

[01:40:00,277]: In my opinion

[01:40:00,857]: Absolutely

[01:40:02,337]: Big Pharma is the closest thing to like you know like if you just want to talk about pure evil like getting into the realm of demonically stick

[01:40:11,497]: Big Pharma is I think the prime example what they’ve done to this country

[01:40:16,097]: I couldn’t agree more

[01:40:17,577]: Chris thank you for spending all this time and for being so totally honest about your story

[01:40:21,417]: I never say I hope this helps people because it feels like so banal but I do hope this helps people

[01:40:27,037]: Thank you

[01:40:27,657]: I appreciate it Tucker

[01:40:28,697]: Thank you

[01:40:33,057]: So it turns out that YouTube is suppressing this show

[01:40:36,837]: On one level that’s not surprising

[01:40:38,377]: That’s what they do

[01:40:39,077]: But on another level it’s shocking

[01:40:40,817]: With everything that’s going on in the world right now all the change taking place in our economy and our politics with the wars on the cusp of fighting right now Google has decided you should have less information rather than more

[01:40:53,337]: And that is totally wrong

[01:40:55,597]: It’s immoral

[01:40:56,697]: What can you do about it

[01:40:58,557]: Well we could whine about it

[01:41:00,017]: That’s a waste of time

[01:41:01,257]: We’re not in charge of Google

[01:41:02,197]: Or we could find a way around it a way that you could actually get information that is true not intentionally deceptive

[01:41:08,517]: The way to do that on YouTube we think is to subscribe to our channel

[01:41:12,217]: Subscribe

[01:41:12,857]: Hit the little bell icon to be notified when we upload and share this video

[01:41:17,357]: That way you’ll have a much higher chance of hearing actual news and information

[01:41:22,297]: So we hope that you’ll do that

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